The World Outside
When Adelaide woke, she felt, for the first time in longer than she could remember, hopeful.
Last night, she and Plum had fled the Vermillion Keep. Algaran, and the Fifth Law, promised a better life for both of them, and the chance to make a difference in the world. If Laszlo was to be believed—and Adelaide trusted him—then the Fifth Law would give Adelaide the chance to be truly herself, when she was ready. Not only that, but their ideals gave Adelaide hope that she could make the world a better place, and give her a chance to help right the injustice that Laszlo had shown her.
To part of her, it still didn’t feel entirely real. It still felt more like a flight of fancy: she half-expected Sir Kieran to bust down the door to the inn and drag them back to the Keep to face her mother.
Instead, though, she’d woken up next to Plum.
She was still asleep. Adelaide’s arm was around her shoulder, and she was nestled into Adelaide’s side. Their legs were intertwined and Plum’s head was resting softly on Adelaide’s chest. Adelaide felt the warmth of her body, and the press of her skin against hers, and she felt herself flush. Meeks had curled up next to them at some point, and he was snoozing away equally peacefully.
Adelaide couldn’t keep herself from gazing at Plum’s face. She looked so peaceful, and Adelaide could almost forget the emotional turmoil that she’d seen from her the night before. Right now, her face—the face that Adelaide was more familiar with than her own—was free of the pain and despair that had made Adelaide’s heart ache.
Adelaide felt the familiar worry worm through her chest, its thrashing arms burrowing into every part of her brain and body. Plum’s words echoed through her brain, and her heart ached at the remembrance. She felt the desire to banish Plum’s pain wash over her so intensely that it felt like she was struck by lightning, and she reached out to gently brush the hair out of her face.
I will never let you go, Adelaide vowed to herself. For both of our sakes.
She sat like that for a while, watching Plum sleep and wishing desperately to cleanse her pain. She must have eventually drifted back to sleep, because she woke some time later to Plum stirring next to her.
Plum made a noise that might have been a greeting, her eyes half-open, and Adelaide smiled.
“Good morning, Plum,” she said softly, brushing the hair out of her face again.
Plum’s eyes fluttered open the rest of the way and met Adelaide’s. She made another noise and stretched her arms above her head, her body still pressed against Adelaide’s. Adelaide pushed herself upright.
“How did you sleep?” Adelaide asked.
“Mmmm,” Plum replied. “Alright, I suppose. I was awake for… a while.” She sat up. “How long have you been awake?”
“Not long,” Adelaide replied. She flushed, and decided it best not to mention how long she had been watching Plum sleep.
Plum slid out from under the covers and stood. Adelaide caught herself staring at Plum’s legs, only covered above mid-thigh by her nightgown. Plum stretched again and caught Adelaide’s eyes. Adelaide felt her face grow hot again and looked away, and Plum smirked.
“Come on,” Plum said, leaning down to kiss Adelaide’s forehead. “We should get dressed.”
Adelaide sat for a moment longer, willing her face to cool down, before standing.
The two quickly got dressed—on opposite sides of the partition in the corner—and Adelaide started in on her morning rituals. It was strange doing them in a new place. She’d never even done them in Plum’s room. She shaved, did her makeup, and started to do her hair before Plum insisted on doing it for her.
“One of these days,” she said with a smirk. “You will be good enough at this to not need my help.”
Adelaide rolled her eyes and grinned back at her.
Plum did Adelaide’s hair and Adelaide stood to look at herself in the mirror. She took a deep breath and reached out to her dawn magic. The temperature of the surrounding room dropped a few degrees, and Adelaide could see goose-pimples prickle over Plum’s skin. Meeks popped his head up from the bed in surprise.
Once she was done, she turned to Plum, feeling exhilarated.
Plum was beaming. “I have never seen you do that,” she said, that breathtaking smile flashing across her face. “‘Twas brilliant, Adelaide.”
Adelaide flushed. “I… ‘twas nothing,” she said after a moment. “‘Tis practically instinctual at this point.”
“Do you ever tire of having to do it every day?”
“No,” Adelaide said without hesitation. “That power, and the use of it, is how I remember what I have gone through. ‘Tis how I remind myself how fortunate I am to be able to be myself.” She grinned back at Plum. “I am proud of it.”
“Good,” Plum said. She took Adelaide’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “You should be.”
The two gathered up their belongings and made their way downstairs. Plum was practically frothing at the mouth with her desperation for a cup of coffee, and Adelaide’s stomach was growling for breakfast. She already missed the greasy bacon that the Keep’s kitchens always seemed to have. As they entered the tavern portion of the inn, Adelaide stopped in her tracks.
For the second time this week, Adelaide was shocked speechless at the sight of her cousin Willam.
He was at the bar, talking animatedly with the proprietor. He was angry, his face red and his hand at his wand sheath. Julien, his squirrel familiar, was darting around Willam’s feet energetically.
“Willy?” Plum shouted across the room, incredulous.
Willam turned and his eyes went wide. He rushed over to them, nearly tripping over Julien on the way.
“Miss Plum!” he exclaimed. “Brandon!” Adelaide flinched as if struck.
“Willy, what are you doing here?” Plum asked, saving Adelaide from having to reply. Julien had bounded over too, but was now cowering behind Willam’s legs as if to hide from Meeks. Meeks, for his part, was pretending to be disinterested.
“I was looking for you two,” Willam replied. “Brandon, your mother is going to send riders to bring you back to the Keep.”
Adelaide felt her stomach lurch. “She… what?”
“I do not know what is going on, or why you are fleeing, but I came to warn you.”
“How did you beat them here?” Plum asked, one hand grasping the handle of her wand.
“I left before them. But I do not know how long they will be, so please-”
Plum had already taken Adelaide by the hand and was dragging her to the door.
“Wait!” Willy shouted after them, rushing to catch up. “Let me come with you,” he said. “I can help.”
Plum stopped at the threshold and looked to Adelaide.
“We need all of the help we can get, Plum,” Adelaide said after a moment.
Plum hesitated. “Fine,” she said eventually. “We shall fill you in on the road.” She turned and left the inn. “Do not slow us down,” she shouted through the door. Meeks dashed out the door after her, ignoring his quarry.
Adelaide shrugged at Willam and hurried after Plum. He followed a moment later, Julien on his shoulder.
“Wait until we are off the main road,” Plum said. Her wand was out, and she was already tracing sigils in the air. The faint red afterimage of her magic filled the space, and she finished, as usual, with a perfect circle. The weeds and grasses around Plum withered and died, and Adelaide felt a weight wash over her body, as if she hadn’t slept in a few days. The feeling soon passed.
“There,” she said. “That should help us move quickly.”
“What did you do?” Adelaide asked.
“Three spells. One will clear a path and another will re-seal it. Watch.” She stepped off the road and the tall grasses withered and wasted away directly in front of her. As she stepped through the circle of dead grass, it regrew behind her just as quickly.
“Impressive,” Willam said, nodding approvingly. “As expected of Miss Plum. I assume you use the red mana from killing the plants to power the spells in a loop, yes?”
“Yes.”
“That is brilliant,” Willy said, his eyes alight with the fervor of new knowledge. “What does the third spell do?”
“‘Tis a compass, of sorts. Pointing me towards Algaran. Come,” Plum said, heading towards the copse of trees near the side of the road. “We must be quick.”
Adelaide followed, and sure enough, the spells worked for her and Willam too. Meeks experimentally nudged at some grass, but it seemed like Plum had not extended the spell to the familiars. The magicians made quick time through the tall grass and into the forest. The boughs of the trees and the thickets of shrubs died and regrew the same as the grass.
“Now will you please tell me,” Willam said, short of breath as he struggled to keep up with Plum’s pace. “What in the name of Radiance is going on?”
Adelaide glanced at Plum, who seemed intent only on leading them through the trees. “‘Tis… a lot, Willy.”
“It seems we’ve nothing but time.”
Adelaide hesitated anyway. She’d never told anyone her secret except Plum. If she were to tell Willy what was truly going on, he needed to know that secret. Will he understand? Adelaide asked herself. Or will he run right back to Mother? She glanced at Plum again.
“Willy,” Adelaide began, and took a deep breath. “I am about to confide in you my biggest secret. I need your promise that you will tell no one. You will be one of but a very select few to know the full story.”
“Of course, Brandon,” Willam said, with that iconic Carnation smile. “You have my word. You kept mine, did you not?”
“Thank you,” Adelaide said. She swallowed hard. Her heart was in her throat, but if there were anyone else she could trust, she knew it would be Willy.
“I am… sure you have heard the rumours concerning me?”
Willam nodded. “I have. I paid them little mind. Are they true?”
“Yes. No. Sort of. I-” Adelaide made a frustrated noise. “They are true but ‘tis not the full story.” Willam’s brow had furrowed, and the words began to spill out of Adelaide’s mouth. “I have been ‘pretending to be a woman’ because I have decided to make myself one.” Adelaide felt her eyes begin to well with tears. “Willy, I hated myself for so long. My body always felt wrong—who I was felt wrong, so I decided to change it. The only person who has known has been Plum, but my mother found out and threatened to disown me unless I stopped. But I could not go back to living that way forever.”
“That sounds familiar,” Willam exclaimed with mock cheer and a grimace.
“Indeed,” Adelaide replied, forcing a small chuckle to hide the rush of relief she felt at his joking. “I could not go back to that.” She said again. She wiped her eyes with her sleeve. Plum had slowed enough to be beside her and slipped her fingers through Adelaide’s. Adelaide appreciated the touch, but Plum was being uncharacteristically quiet.
“What do you mean by changing it?” Willam asked after a pause.
“I call myself Adelaide now. And I call myself ‘she’ and ‘her’ instead of ‘he’ and ‘him.’” Willam didn’t react. Adelaide felt her chest tighten with unease, and she squeezed Plum’s hand. “Have you heard of dyadic magic?”
Willam snorted. “Only in rumours. ‘Tis said to be a way to break the laws of magic. The Magisterium says that such a thing is impossible.”
“They are wrong,” Plum said quietly.
Willam raised an eyebrow, and Adelaide nodded. “The Magisterium is wrong, Willy. Or they are lying. Plum and I are both dyadic magicians. I have been using it to change my body for years.”
Willam stopped in his tracks. “I… how?” he asked.
“‘Tis not important right now,” Plum said impatiently. “We must keep moving.” She squeezed Adelaide’s hand again and kept walking.
“Ah, right,” Willam said, hurrying after Plum. Adelaide followed too.
They walked in silence for what felt like hours. Willam hadn’t properly responded to Adelaide’s reveal, and the tension felt like a bowstring pulled too taut. Adelaide was waiting for it to snap.
The silence stretched on. The grasses kept dying and regrowing behind them. They had to detour around a hill at one point, and a small stream posed a brief challenge. They jumped the stream, and Adelaide was grateful to not wet her boots. And all the while, they said nothing. Adelaide felt ready to explode.
After what felt like an eternity, Willam finally spoke. “So, erm,” he finally said. “Adelaide?”
Adelaide felt her eyes well over again. “Yes?” she managed to squeak out in response.
“Where are we going?”
Adelaide felt the tension release from her body like steam out of an opened kettle. She laughed and wiped her face again.
“Algaran,” she responded after a moment. “We plan to join the Fifth Law. Have you heard of them?”
“I’ve not. ‘Tis a rather silly name for an organization,” Willam said with a smirk.
“They are an organization of mages that seek to build a better world. Their name represents what they call the fifth law of magic, which is the existence of dyadic magic.” She floundered for a moment, but decided that a straightforward approach would be her best bet. She had no means like Laszlo to show Willy.
“Have you seen how the peasantry are treated, Willy? At best they are worked to the bone. At worst they are beaten and killed. The Fifth Law seeks to remedy that.”
Willam snorted again. “And how do they plan to do that, Adelaide?” Even considering the circumstances, Adelaide felt a rush at hearing her real name from another’s lips. “Even if you are correct, the Magisterium will not stand for it.”
“I- well, I do not exactly know how. To be honest, ‘tis not the real reason we are going. Laszlo Tolemas, their leader, has promised me safe haven. I mean, me, Adelaide. He pieced it together himself and has promised that I can be safe there. Willy, I had nowhere else to go where I could be me.”
Willam nodded slowly. “This is that important to you, then?” he asked softly.
Adelaide nodded. “It is.”
Willam nodded again, more fervently this time. “I shall not pretend to fully understand,” he said. “But if that is what you need, I trust you.” He grinned again. “To Algaran, then?”
Adelaide smiled and wiped her tears. “To Algaran.”
When night fell, it fell quickly. The three magicians bedded down under a makeshift shelter that Plum grew out of the surrounding plants. Plum insisted that they couldn’t risk a fire, and so the cold night air leeched the warmth out of their bodies. They huddled together for warmth.
Adelaide woke before dawn, as usual, having barely slept the night before. The ground was hard and the air was cold, and the only thing that kept her comfortable was Plum’s body against hers. She’d slept just as she had the previous few nights—curled up against Adelaide’s side.
Willy’s body was against her, too. The younger man was curled tightly into a ball and facing away from Adelaide, his spine pressed into her side. Adelaide lay like that for a few moments. The warmth of their bodies was soothing, and the still, clear morning air gave the chilly day a strange serenity.
It was the first time Adelaide had ever slept outside.
She let the others sleep in for a few more minutes. Plum had said yesterday that they should be in Algaran by this evening, so a few more minutes couldn’t hurt. She craned her neck down to gently kiss the top of Plum’s head.
Eventually, she decided that she should probably wake them up. She shook Willy awake and then began the arduous process of waking Plum. It was a trial, as always, but eventually, she was up and moving. The three prepared to leave.
Adelaide began her morning routine as best as she could. Shaving was difficult, and she decided to forgo the makeup again. She took a deep breath and drew on her dawn magic.
The air around her grew even colder and darker, and when she lifted an arm she felt as if she were moving it through pudding. But, she felt the familiar pressure as her body changed incrementally, and she let out the breath she’d been holding.
Willam looked somewhere between horrified and fascinated.
“Was that your dyadic magic?” he asked, wide-eyed.
“It was,” Adelaide answered. “I draw on the yellow mana of my environment, shape it into red, and use that to alter my body.”
“That is… incredible! I’d no notion such a feat were possible.”
“Much more is possible than you think,” Plum said quietly. It was the first time she’d spoken this morning, and there was a hint of gravel in her voice.
All three were silent for a moment.
“Shall we get moving?” Adelaide said eventually, breaking the silence.
“Yes, let’s,” Willy responded quickly.
They broke their fast with some fruits that Plum grew with a simple spell, and then continued their journey to Algaran.
“We should arrive near midday,” Plum said as they walked. “Were the trees not blocking our view, the city would probably be in sight by now.”
Sure enough, within a few hours, the magicians broke through a copse of trees and saw Algaran rising in front of them.
Adelaide was awestruck. The sheer size of the city was astounding to her. The high, sandstone walls of the city alone were taller than the Keep that she’d spent almost her entire life in, and she guessed there must be more people in a quarter of the city than she’d met in her entire life. The stone of the walls and buildings was a dull, brownish color, and the roofs formed a patchwork of bright terracottas and tiles. Flags bearing the three-pointed star of Radiance flew from dozens of buildings.
From this distance, Adelaide could barely make out the tiny dots of people streaming in and out of the city. She suddenly felt dizzy at the prospect of that many people: the most she’d ever seen at once were the three hundred or so at the busiest House Vermillion balls.
She stopped in her tracks. Her breath caught in her throat and her vision narrowed. She was suddenly struck with the immense gravity of her situation. Not only was she miles from the only home she’d ever known, looking at the most people she’d ever seen, she was also now faced with revealing her deepest, truest self to the world. That self had remained hidden for so long, and suddenly, she didn’t think she was ready to change that.
“Addie?” Plum asked softly. She’d stepped closer and reached out a hand to squeeze Adelaide’s. “Are you alright, love?”
“I… do not think I am ready, Plum,” Adelaide replied after a moment. Her chest felt tight, like it was under an immense amount of pressure. “I can not do this.”
“Can not do what?”
“Be… be me,” she choked out. “Not fully.”
Plum nodded and squeezed her hands. “Breathe, Adelaide,” she said soothingly. Adelaide forced herself to breathe, low and slow, just like she’d learned. “Breathe,” Plum said again. “Look at me.” Adelaide forced herself to match the pace of Plum’s exaggerated breaths, and eventually her vision returned and her chest loosened enough that breathing no longer hurt. Willam stood over her shoulder, looking concerned and lost as to what to do to help.
Plum squeezed Adelaide’s hands again.
“If you are not yet ready, love, ‘tis alright,” she said, her voice low and warm. Adelaide could feel her heart rate slowing with every word she said.
“You can pretend to be him for a while longer if ‘tis what you need,” Plum continued. “I shall be here,” she said with that smile that made Adelaide’s heart soar. “Whatever you need.”
“I shall be, too,” Willam said. “I know we are not as close as we once were, but I hope to change that.”
“Thank you,” Adelaide said shakily. “Both of you. Give me a moment?”
Plum nodded and squeezed her hand one more time. “Of course,” she said softly. “We shall be here.”
Plum and Willam took a few steps away and Adelaide looked off into the city. She closed her eyes and felt the wind on her skin and in her hair. She felt the sun on her face, and the ground beneath her feet. She breathed, long and low and slow, and felt the air fill her lungs. She could be him, for just a while longer. She opened her eyes, squared her shoulders, and took a step forward.
“All right,” Brandon said with a grin. “Shall we?”
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