The Beginning at the End
Adelaide slept soundly for most of the night. At some point, she was dimly conscious of Plum returning and climbing into bed next to her, but she couldn’t rouse herself enough to respond or react to it. She drifted back away into a mostly dreamless slumber, only distantly aware of the warmth beside her.
Adelaide woke just before dawn, as usual. The morning light peeked in through her curtains, giving the entire room a soft, warm glow. Meeks was curled up next to her legs, and Plum-
Adelaide felt her heat rise. Plum was sleeping next to her with her arms wrapped around Adelaide’s body. Her head was nestled in the crook of Adelaide’s shoulder and her arm was draped across her chest. Adelaide could feel the warmth of Plum’s breath on her neck and the soft rise and fall of her chest. In the still, quiet, morning light, she could even hear her heartbeat.
Adelaide lay still, trying to stir as little as possible so as not to wake Plum. For now, in this little slice of peace and warmth, she let herself forget the events of the past few days. She could almost believe that life could be this perfect.
Adelaide must have drifted off back to sleep, because she woke with a start. She’d been having a nightmare—her heart was racing and she was covered in a thin sheen of sweat. The details were already fading, but she was left with vague impressions of being trapped and alone. She gasped for air, and Plum stirred against her.
“Mmmm,” Plum murmured as her eyes fluttered open. “Addie?” Their eyes met and Plum’s widened as she noticed Adelaide’s fear.
“Hey, hey,” she said softly, squeezing Adelaide tighter. “‘Tis alright, love, I am here.”
Adelaide breathed heavily, letting her heart rate fall. She focused on the feeling of the warmth of Plum’s body, and eventually she felt her body calm.
“Are you alright, love?” Plum asked. The concern in her voice brought a knot of guilt back to Adelaide’s throat.
“Yes, I… I had a nightmare,” Adelaide’s voice was hoarse from the thirst of the night.
Plum propped herself up on her elbow, and Adelaide was suddenly aware of how cold her room was.
“Here,” Plum said, reaching over Adelaide to grab the glass of water that had been there since last night. Adelaide flushed as Plum’s chest was inches away from her face. Meeks chirruped unhappily and scampered over to the windowsill to bask in the sun.
Adelaide sat up and took the offered water. She drank gratefully, and it soothed her. She put down the empty glass and stretched hard enough that her vision went black around the edges. Plum was still looking at her with the furrow in her brow, and Adelaide forced a small smile.
“I am fine,” Adelaide said. “‘Twas just a dream.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Adelaide shook her head. “I hardly remember it, to be honest.”
Plum nodded. “Alright then.” She unwound herself from the covers, then stood and stretched as well. Adelaide looked anywhere else.
Plum rolled her shoulders and regarded Adelaide. “How are you feeling?” she asked gently.
Adelaide shrugged. “I am alright, I suppose,” she said with a sigh. “My mother found out my biggest secret and is threatening to disown me unless I keep pretending to a title I do not have, I relapsed on harming myself, and my emotions feel like a roiling storm.” She smirked. “And you?”
Plum’s brow had furrowed deeper with every word Adelaide said. She let out a breath and said “Addie-”
“I know, I know,” Adelaide’s smirk faded and she sighed again. “Of course I am not alright. I have no idea what to do.” She glanced up at Plum, and then looked away. “Should we talk about last night?” she added quietly.
Plum suddenly couldn’t meet Adelaide’s eyes. They sat in silence for what felt like an eternity.
“Did you mean it?” Adelaide eventually asked, her voice almost a whisper.
“Yes,” Plum said immediately. “Of course I did. I just… ‘Twas not the right time, nor the right reasons. ‘Twas reckless. You do not need that on your plate right now, with… everything.”
“Do you not think I want it?” Adelaide could barely get the words out.
“I… no, of course I know that you do, I am not blind. But I would not be good for you, Adelaide, I am not good for anyone.”
“Plum-”
Plum interrupted her by standing abruptly and walking to the windowsill where Meeks lounged. “Please, Adelaide, just drop it for now.”
“I… alright,” Adelaide said eventually. “Alright, fine.”
“Thank you.” Plum scratched Meeks behind the ears, and they sat in silence for a few moments.
“We should get breakfast,” Plum said eventually. “I am up far too early and need several cups of coffee.”
“Breakfast would be wonderful.”
Plum pulled a blanket from Adelaide’s bed and wrapped it around her shoulders. “I shall bring this back. Shall we meet outside our rooms in half an hour?”
Adelaide nodded, and Plum turned to leave. She hesitated a moment with her hand on the handle, but then opened the door, snapped twice for Meeks to follow, and left.
Adelaide sighed and let her head fall back against the headboard. Time to dress, I suppose.
Adelaide started in on her morning routine. She dressed and shaved, grabbed her eyeliner… and then hesitated. She thought of her mother’s words, and she felt her heart rate quicken. She put the eyeliner down, and then picked it up again, and then put it back down. In the end, she decided to forgo the makeup. She hadn’t done that a single day in at least five years.
She stood and faced her mirror, and then hesitated again. This would usually be the time where she reached out for what she now knew as dawn magic and nudged her body in the right direction. But now, she was paranoid. Would it be too noticeable? Would Mother notice? Adelaide pressed a hand to her chest, and then cinched her waist with her fingers. She forced herself to swallow her revulsion at what she felt. Going without makeup was one thing: makeup, at the end of the day, was just to look pretty. But the thought of going without this part of her ritual made her feel physically ill.
Adelaide reached out to her dawn magic and let it do its work. She couldn’t truly feel the changes, but she let out a sigh of relief all the same as her body eased itself closer to the one she knew it should be. Her mother could take away her ability to dress how she wanted or call herself by her name, but she could never take her body from her. Adelaide tucked her wand into her sash and stepped through her doorway.
Brandon had not truly been expecting to see Plum waiting already, but part of him was still disappointed to not see her outside his room. He walked over to a window and pulled the drapes open, leaning against the windowsill to watch the clouds outside.
Plum came out eventually. To Brandon’s surprise, she was only about 5 minutes past the half-hour mark that they had agreed on. She was wearing a long, mulberry-colored dress that exposed her shoulders, and Brandon felt a surge of envy hiding underneath his flutters.
Plum had Brandon’s blanket bundled in her arms. She smiled at him, and the minor irritation he had felt at her being late melted away.
“Hello again, love,” she said. “Here is your blanket back.” She handed him the blanket and unceremoniously dumped it into his outstretched hands. He briefly opened his door to toss the blanket onto the bed, and then headed back to Plum. She looped her arm through his and they began heading down to the kitchen.
The silence between them, usually easy and comfortable, was now tense and awkward. Brandon kept stealing glances at Plum’s face, hoping to get a glimpse of what she was feeling, but she remained inscrutable.
As they exited the west wing, Plum finally spoke.
“You are not wearing makeup.” It wasn’t a question.
“I… no, I am not.”
“Why?”
Brandon shot a glance at her.
“No, no, I know why,” she said with a sigh. “‘Tis just… it makes you so happy.”
Brandon didn’t have a response.
They went the rest of the way to the kitchens in silence. Brandon carefully avoided meeting the gaze or listening to the words of the servants, but he couldn’t help but notice the stares and whispers. They got food and coffee and took their breakfast to the west courtyard. It was quickly becoming Brandon’s favorite spot for some peace and quiet.
Brandon and Plum sat opposite each other, sipping on their coffee and eating their breakfast. Plum seemed to be very pointedly avoiding Brandon’s gaze, and even though he knew why, he was having a hard time telling himself that it didn’t hurt.
“What are you going to do?” Plum asked suddenly. Her gaze was at the branches of the red maple tree in the courtyard—anywhere but Brandon’s eyes.
“I do not have much choice, do I?” Brandon responded bitterly.
“You do not have to do this,” Plum was practically begging. “Do not let her win.”
“I have to, Plum!” Brandon was barely holding back a shout—or tears. “She has given me no choice.”
“Ad- Bra-” Plum made a frustrated sound and stood abruptly. Her knuckles were white with the force she clenched her coffee mug, and with a yell she threw the mug at the tree. It shattered, the coffee splashing against the bark and the shards of ceramic tinkling down to the ground like hailstones.
“I am sorry,” came an unfamiliar voice from the archway. “Am I interrupting something?”
Plum, breathing heavy, darted her eyes towards the archway, and Brandon watched her face shift from frustration to surprise to confusion to sorrow, all in less than a second. Brandon’s gaze followed hers, and he felt his own heart drop as he saw Millie’s long blonde tresses.
She stood in the archway, looking sheepish, and her eyes darted back and forth between Brandon and Plum.
“I can come back another time,” she said eventually.
Brandon swallowed past the lump in his throat. “No, no, ‘tis fine. I was just leaving.” He shot a glance to Plum, who looked ready to cry. The sight made a part of his heart break.
“Ad- Br-” she made yet another frustrated sound, and shook her head hard enough that it almost made Brandon’s head swim.
“Wait, ‘tis not-” Plum begged.
“‘Tis fine, Plum,” Brandon interrupted. “I am fine. I have duties to attend to, regardless.”
Brandon scooped up his and Plum’s dishes and half-eaten breakfast and nearly bent down to pick up the shattered mug before deciding against it. He nodded to Millie and left the courtyard without another word.
Brandon returned the dishes to the kitchen and then set about his “duties”: returning to his chambers and hiding for the rest of the day. With the rumours and the naked hostility he was facing from the servants, Brandon didn’t exactly feel welcome helping them out like he had been before. His mother hadn’t given him any responsibilities as of late either, so he had precious little to fill his time.
Brandon made his way back to his bedchambers. He did his best to ignore the stares of the servants as he fled to the safety of the familiar space.
Once inside, Adelaide safely closed and locked the door behind her. She let out a breath she hadn’t known she’d been holding and sank down to the floor, her spine pressing into the hard wood of the door.
Her thoughts wandered. What did Millie want? she thought. Her appearance had rattled Adelaide, and had clearly affected Plum too. And what about the kiss? Plum shutting down Adelaide’s attempts to talk about it made her nervous.
Adelaide’s thoughts spiralled around Plum. She knocked the back of her head against the door a few times, the dull thunk bringing her some small comfort against the roiling storm of her thoughts. Eventually she stood and walked over to her bookshelf in the corner. She selected a book, some sappy romance novel, and tried to sit and read, but she just couldn’t get her thoughts to focus on it.
She stood again and stepped over to the window, looking out at the clouds again. It must be nearing midday by now, but the clouds had become thick and grey, promising a heavy rain soon. She sighed and cracked the window, the pleasant pre-rain smell filling her nostrils.
Her attempts to stop thinking were interrupted by a series of quick knocks at the door that made Adelaide startle. She very rarely got knocks at her door, and for a moment she forgot how to respond.
She didn’t need to, though. Plum unlocked her door and came bursting in before Adelaide could get her thoughts in order. Her face was flushed with exertion, and she looked to Adelaide with wide, wild eyes.
“Addie!” she exclaimed. Adelaide winced and gestured at the open door.
“No matter,” Plum said quickly. “We should leave.”
“I… what?” Adelaide asked, bewildered.
“We should leave the Keep,” she said, as if that explained everything. On seeing Adelaide’s bewildered expression, she continued. “Your mother is never going to let you be yourself. You are never going to be able to be happy here, so why should we stay?”
“Plum-”
“I am serious, Addie!”
“Keep your voice down!”
“It does not matter, Addie, we can just leave!”
Adelaide hesitated. “Where would we go?”
Plum grinned, and from her pocket took out the spiraling charm of the Fifth Law. Adelaide’s eyes widened.
“We go to Algaran,” Plum said, her grin growing wider.
Adelaide’s eyes narrowed, now. “I thought you did not trust Laszlo,” she said after a moment.
“I do not,” Plum answered. “But you do. Besides, I do not think he means us harm, just that he is not telling us the full truth.”
“We can agree on that point, at least,” Adelaide said, gingerly taking the charm from Plum. “So, what, we just leave our home? Go to Algaran, join the Fifth Law, and never look back?”
“Maybe we can return someday, love,” Plum said, folding Adelaide’s hand within both of hers. “Perhaps one day your mother will see sense. But until then, we will go somewhere safe.”
“How can we know ‘tis safe there?” Adelaide asked, squeezing Plum’s hand.
“We can never know,” Plum answered. “But you told me that he knows your secret and that you trust him anyway. That must count for something.”
Adelaide hesitated again. “The Keep is the only home we have ever known. What are we to do outside it?”
“I am not sure, love.” Plum looked at Adelaide with an intensity that could have melted steel. “But I want to do it with you.”
Adelaide felt her face grow hot. “I am scared, Plum.”
“I know, love,” she crooned, and then pulled Adelaide into a tight hug. Adelaide felt her heart stop for a moment. “I will not let them take you from me,” she added softly.
Adelaide hugged her back, and felt the warmth not just in her face but in her whole body. It felt like a fire burned within her, and even if she didn’t fully believe Plum that everything would work out, that feeling made her want to believe it.
“Okay,” Adelaide said eventually. “Okay, I shall do it.”
Plum pulled back and looked at Adelaide, and the smile on her face was enough for Adelaide to know that she’d made the right choice.
“Wonderful,” Plum said, her arm still wrapped around Adelaide’s waist. “You are wonderful.” For a moment, Adelaide almost thought Plum was going to kiss her again, and even though she knew they still needed to talk about it, there was suddenly nothing she wanted more in the world.
Plum pulled away instead, and Adelaide found herself instantly missing the warmth of her touch.
“Pack a bag,” Plum commanded. “We leave as soon as we can.”
“Should we not say our goodbyes?”
“To whom? Your mother would sooner have us arrested than peacefully say goodbye.”
“What about your father?”
Plum waved a hand. “I shall leave him a letter. He and I… have not exactly been close lately.”
Adelaide nodded. “Alright,” she said. “Alright. I shall pack. See you at the main gate in an hour or so?”
“I shall be waiting.” Plum made to leave, but Adelaide did not let go of her hand. Plum turned back and met Adelaide’s eyes.
“Thank you,” Adelaide said softly.
Plum’s smile in response nearly made Adelaide’s worries melt away. “Of course, love,” she said. “I am yours, forever and always.” Then she was gone. Adelaide nearly called after her with one last phrase, but she left it unsaid.
She already knows, she thought, and turned around to gather her things.
The rest of the afternoon went quickly for Adelaide. She crammed as much as she could reasonably carry into an old backpack, including the sappy romance novel she had tried to read earlier. For her clothes, she deliberately did not pack her House Vermillion regalia—the white and red would do her no favors once her mother disowned her. Instead, she packed the dark-blue, long tunic that she’d secretly favored for years. It was long enough that it almost felt like a dress, and when she tied a sash around her waist it fit in a way that felt right. In spite of everything, she was looking forward to wearing something that wasn’t white and red.
Adelaide found an old sash, once red but now faded into a ruddy orange. She decided it was fitting, and tucked that into her pack too, along with her makeup, razor, and other essentials. Her thoughts, as they often did lately, flickered to the small knife in her bedside table, but she left the drawer closed and the knife untouched.
Adelaide’s eyes flickered over all of her various belongings, some of which had been in her room for years. A small, painted portrait of her, Plum, and Willy when they were kids hung on one wall. A small diorama of a bird that she had picked up from a vendor at the market several years ago sat on her dresser. A few books, mostly unread, were neatly shelved in the corner. These things had made the room feel truly like home to her. They had made her feel safe here.
Adelaide took one last look around her room. This room has been her sanctuary for as long as she could remember. The knots in the wooden desk were as familiar to her as the back of her own hands, the fading curtains and scuffed walls almost a part of her. She even knew that one of the glowlamps was slightly caved in on one side from where she had lost control of a ball as a child. This room was her home, and had kept her secret safe for so many years.
And now, she had to leave.
She felt tears welling in her eyes, for at least the fifth time today. She blinked them back hard and swallowed past the lump in her throat. With a shake of her head, she slung her bag over her shoulder, turned, and made to leave her room.
Her hand was on the doorknob when she paused, remembering something. She hurried back over to one of her drawers and pulled it open. She rifled through a stack of socks until her fingers brushed against something soft, and she pulled the object in question out.
A small plush rabbit stared back at her. Its grey fur had lost much of its fluff, and the stuffing had long since begun to deteriorate. One of the rabbit’s ears was stripped bare of fur where Adelaide had rubbed it nonstop as a child. One of its button eyes was missing, and there were loose threads in the stitching of its joints and nose.
Adelaide rubbed the rabbit’s ear again. Grey—no one had ever accused young Adelaide of being creative with names—had been her sleeping companion for years. He had brought her comfort against nightmares and the loneliness of a dark night, and for years had been her only friend other than Plum. She’d outgrown the need for him years ago, but the thought of leaving him behind made her heart ache. She kissed Grey’s head and tucked him gingerly into her pack as well.
Adelaide turned and left her room, this time with no hesitation. Her heart felt somehow lighter. Even though she was leaving her home, even though she knew that her life would never be the same, and even though she was facing dangers and unknowns that she’d never faced before, she felt liberated. To be free from the fear of being found out, and facing a potential life in which she didn’t have to hide, filled her with a hope that she hadn’t felt in a long, long time. Adelaide took a deep breath, glanced one more time back at her door, and headed off towards the Keep’s main gate to meet Plum. Tonight, they left for Algaran. A tomorrow soon, Adelaide would be herself. Her heart skipped a beat at the thought, and she left her home with a smile.
Cambria's Corner 
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